The Royal Family has wealth, pageantry and elegance, but that doesn’t buy you class or good behaviour, does it? In fact, the skeletons that rattle in the royal closets are much more appalling and shocking than your garden-variety scandal. But surely the reason everyone is so interested in royal misbehaviour is because the landed gentry are supposed to be better than us commoners, and yet are often much worse. Here are some ways in which the royals have shown their inability to rise above the muck.


Nose Picking



Most of you out there dig into your nostrils with a fair amount of regularity, but you try to limit your finger-to-inner nose contact to when you are indoors or out of public view. But there are also those times when the itch is too great, and you succumb to public nose-picking, which is itself an art form, because there are still ways to be discreet when sticking your finger up your nose. As you can see in this image of the Queen, she’s got the form down pat. When you’re performing a disgusting or unhealthy habit, the trick is to make it look elegant, so that you still retain a modicum of dignity. With her white-gloved index finger only slightly bent, Her Majesty is doing herself proud, trying to get that booger to shift from inside her nostrils.

Sometimes nose-picking is just an itch, and you’re not deliberately trying to loosen dried bits of gun from your nostrils. But how are you to explain that bit of distinction to someone who observes you with your stiff finger doing it’s dance inside your nose? It’s a dilemma well worth pondering, innit?.